Hoodwinked

It seems as though all of us, including our duly elected public officials, are well advised to be on constant alert for a bill of goods. Here are just a few examples of some assertions that may fall into the category of being a crock, in no particular order:

I’m with the IRS and I’m here to help you.

The check is in the mail.

Numbers don’t lie.

It is what it is! Or; No worries! It’s a mandate, not a tax!

A call from someone claiming to represent my telephone carrier: “No, reelly, eef you odd dis service to your account, your montly bill will be [magically] lower den it is now!”

China has agreed to reduce its carbon emissions if we go first.

ISIS is no threat to the U.S.

We no longer need a big and powerful military.

Mr. Putin assured us that we could count on him to get our stuff into Earth orbit if we were to dismantle NASA’s Shuttle program; and

Mr. Putin was just trying to help all those poor Russians living in Ukraine and its Crimea peninsula.

Climate change is real. Climate change is not real. (Pick one.)

Don’t worry, I’m right behind you.

I promise.

Federal regulators are keeping the big banks in line.

The market value of your residence will always go up.

The investment portfolios of government employee defined-benefit pension plans will always increase by 8% per year.

The United States of America is too big to fail.

Tell us what you think – we won’t hold you to it.

For Cubs’ fans: Just wait til next year.

It’s never rained this much.

It’s never been this hot.

It’s never been this cold.

It’s never snowed this much.

Spring is just around the corner.

How about those comedy movie trailers that include two or three really great jokes that have us bursting out in laughter? Then we go to the cinema only to find that the movie has only two or three really great jokes in it.

Turning in your gun will reduce gun-related crime. (Although he probably didn’t, Clint Eastwood is credited with saying that “Participating in a gun buyback program because you think that criminals have too many guns is like having yourself castrated because you think your neighbors have too many kids.”)

It seemed like no sooner did I move into my current residence I had to replace the range that came with it. I decided to go for a Kenmore with a self-cleaning oven. Well, let me tell you, I’ve had that range for six years now and it has yet to clean itself. Don’t be hoodwinked by those Kenmore people.

PS – If you can come up with others, share them with us in the “Comments” section.