Have you ever tried to stroke a cat’s fur in the wrong direction? If so, you probably only did it once.
But such contrary action does not always result in undesirable consequences. For example, this past Saturday afternoon, while looking for BOGOs in the ice cream section of Publix, I noticed on my list that I had forgotten something located completely across the store in the bakery section. So, I wheeled my cart around and headed back, as it turned out, against the grain.
This past Tuesday evening, while perusing Apple News on my iPad, I stumbled upon a hyperventilating announcer ranting about President Trump and his dealings with CNN interviewer, Jim Acosta. I listened to about ten words and moved on to what seemed to be a more interesting headline only to be informed that since Melania Trump had harsh words for a certain staffer in the White House—omigosh, connect the dots—President Trump must be going to fire Mr. Kelly! (Chief of Staff)
And yada yada yada…
Distraught by all the negativity, I put my iPad down and turned on the TV to see if I might find a less wearisome distraction on YouTube or something.
I recently read an article in the local newspaper regarding a retired, 75-year-old man who had become so deeply in debt that he felt he had no alternative but to rob a bank. He wasn’t very good at it and was caught almost immediately. The article went on to report that this “elderly man” would be charged with a felony. What caught my eye there was the characterization of this guy as “elderly”. So, apparently, I have at most only three more years until I am considered to be elderly, at least in the eyes of the local press corps.
Regardless of how one might characterize a person of my vintage, it is often assumed that us graybeards must be wise as well as old, right? Well, I can assure you that is not always the case. But given the benefit of the doubt, if I am so old and, ergo, sage, then, just what, exactly, have I learned over all these years? Hmmm. Well, here are a few aphorisms I can share with you, in no particular order.
One summer a couple of years ago I travelled in my Jeep from Jacksonville to Memphis to meet up with my sister and her husband who, in turn, had driven south from Michigan to join me for a little mini-vacation. Following a few pleasant days in that famed city, I set out on the first leg of my return trip. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and with all that drive-time coming up I decided to see what I might find on the radio. I was curious to hear what people were listening to nowadays.
As I clicked through the static and sermons I found myself looking for something akin to the old Casey Kasem American Top Forty that we listened to back in the seventies, or maybe something like Dick Biondi’s countdown on WLS Chicago before that. What I stumbled upon was John Tesh hosting his Intelligence for Your Life program, which, among other things, included the airing of some of the day’s most popular singles. That should work, I figured.
I listened to Tesh’s song list for an hour or so only to find that much of the music simply did not appeal to me at all. Why is that, I wondered?
I stumbled upon the thread below on the Straight Dope Message Board (published with permission) and felt as though I really needed to share it with my friends, especially you Michiganders and Floridians—this is a hoot. I have filtered it down a bit for your reading pleasure. Here we go: